Part Five: What Lived Experience Could Teach the System
Throughout this series, I’ve spoken about what it feels like to be a parent in a system that often sees us as less than. Less informed. Less credible. Less worthy of trust. And the root of that imbalance usually comes down to one thing: lived experience being undervalued.
But what if we flipped the lens?
What if — instead of assuming parents are defensive, difficult, or emotional — we recognised them as experts in their own right? What if lived experience was not just acknowledged, but integrated into how the system works?
Because here’s the truth: no degree, no policy, no training manual can teach what it’s like to be a parent at the edge of the system. To have your family broken apart. To face judgment on your worst days. To keep showing up with love even when you’re barely holding yourself together.
That kind of knowledge is powerful. And it’s missing from the current model.
Imagine if case reviews had parent advocates with lived experience sitting in.
Imagine if training courses for new social workers included real voices, not just role plays.
Imagine if decision-making panels actually consulted the people who’ve been there — not just those who’ve studied it.
It’s not about throwing out the professionals. It’s about balancing the scales. It’s about designing a system that works with families, not just on them.
Lived experience can teach empathy, nuance, and humanity — the very things that often get lost in bureaucracy. It can challenge blind spots, humanise policy, and remind everyone involved that behind every case number is a child, a parent, a story.
This system doesn’t need to be perfect. But it does need to be honest. And that honesty starts by including the people who’ve lived it — not just the ones who’ve read about it.
Because if you want to understand the impact of your decisions, you need to hear from those who’ve survived them.
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