Families are often told the same advice when the system comes knocking:
“Keep every email. Record every call. Write down every detail.”
It can sound obsessive, even mistrustful. But when your family’s future rests on the words of professionals, those words matter more than anything else. And words have a way of shifting.
The Meeting
Not long ago, we sat in a meeting with a social worker manager. It was the kind of meeting parents know well: formal, heavy, with words that carry weight.
We listened carefully. We nodded. We asked questions. And at the end, we quietly pressed stop on the recording app on my phone.
We didn’t announce it — because we didn’t have to. Under Section 36 of the Data Protection Act 2018, individuals are permitted to record for personal or domestic purposes. A recording made for your own protection is lawful.
This isn’t about mistrust. It’s about survival.
When the Record Speaks
Later, we sent an email asking for something that had been clearly promised in that meeting.
The reply came back quickly: “Don’t know where you got that information from — it’s based on need.”
We knew where we got it from. We had it recorded.
So we quoted back the transcript. Word for word. His words, not ours.
The reply shifted: “You’ve missed the point. This is not a set amount, it is discretionary.”
And then, when pressed further, the concern moved again: “The meeting should not have been recorded.”
Why Clarity Matters
Here’s the reality: if adults can be told we “misheard,” even when we can relisten to a recording, what chance does a child have when their words are taken down in an interview and written into reports?
Children’s voices are often fragile, halting, uncertain. They may not explain themselves fully. They may be emotional, tired, scared. Yet their words are written down, quoted, interpreted, and used to make life-changing decisions.
Clarity is not a courtesy. It’s a responsibility.
When professionals contradict themselves, they don’t just confuse parents. They create a culture where children’s voices can also be misunderstood — and that can be devastating.
The Paper Trail Matters
The paper trail matters. Because one day it might be the only trail left.
The record doesn’t lie. And that’s why families must keep one.
thegirlspeaks.uk 