Before You Read My Story
This is not a story that can be told in one post.
This is the beginning of a series speaking the truths they tried to bury — about forced adoption, its silent victims, and the grief that refuses to stay hidden.
Forced adoption isn’t just something from history books.
It’s not a thing of the past.
It’s still happening — quietly, legally, and devastatingly — to mothers, fathers, children, and families across the UK and beyond.
Before I share my personal journey through forced adoption, I want to share some truths.
Some facts.
Some realities that too often get silenced, hidden under the weight of official paperwork and professional words.
Because this isn’t just my story.
It’s the story of thousands.
What is Forced Adoption?
Forced adoption happens when a child is permanently removed from their family without the consent of the parents.
This usually occurs through family court proceedings, often under the claim that adoption is in the “best interests” of the child — even when parents want to keep fighting, even when families could survive with proper support.
Unlike many other countries in Europe, the UK is one of the only places where adoption without parental consent is legal and widespread.
Even at the highest levels of the family court system, concerns have been raised:
In 2024, Sir Andrew McFarlane, President of the Family Division, acknowledged that the UK’s current adoption model — built in the 1970s — urgently needs modernisation, recognising the “grief and lifelong loss” it causes for birth families and adoptees.
read the full speech here
The Reality in Numbers
- 50–60% of adoptions in England and Wales happen without parental consent.
- Between 2000 and 2014, nearly 90,000 children were adopted from care in England — many cases involved contesting parents.
- After the Adoption and Children Act 2002, adoption practices became faster, with significant pressure placed on local authorities to secure more adoptions.
- In 2013, government policies aimed to double the number of adoptions, leading to accusations that families were being torn apart to meet targets.
The Hidden Impact on Mothers
Mothers who experience forced adoption are often left with:
- Unresolved, disenfranchised grief — a grief society refuses to acknowledge.
- Long-term trauma and PTSD.
- Shame, guilt, and isolation — made worse by court-imposed gagging orders.
- Loss of trust in authorities, health services, and the wider community.
The emotional wounds do not fade with time.
They often deepen, because the world expects silence — not survival.
The Hidden Impact on Children
Children taken through forced adoption often struggle with:
- Loss of identity and history — wondering where they came from and why they were taken.
- Mental health challenges — anxiety, depression, complex PTSD.
- Attachment and abandonment issues — carried into adulthood.
- Feelings of being “displaced” even if adoptive families provide love and care.
Some adult adoptees later speak out about the deep loneliness and confusion they felt growing up disconnected from their origins.
Why This Still Matters
Forced adoption is not a tragedy of the past — it is a living wound in our present.
It continues to happen, hidden in courtrooms behind closed doors, protected by secrecy laws, and buried under paperwork.
But thanks to social media, activism, and brave voices, the silence is starting to break.
Families are finding each other.
Mothers and fathers are finding the strength to speak.
I am one of them.
This isn’t just about statistics.
It’s about real families.
Real children.
Real grief.
Real survival.
“Thank you for walking through this with me. The truth deserves to be heard, no matter how long it was hidden.”
thegirlspeaks.uk 