“Why don’t you just speak up?”
We hear it all the time. From friends. From strangers. From people who think silence equals guilt. But here’s the truth:
Speaking up in family court can destroy you.
Not metaphorically—literally.
If we talk about our own cases publicly, we risk being dragged back into court for contempt, slapped with fines, or even jailed. That’s not justice. That’s a muzzle. In the UK and other systems modeled after it, even criticizing a judge or talking about proceedings can be punished (GOV.UK – Contempt of Court).
Let that sink in: telling the truth about your own life can be a crime.
People think we stay silent because we’re hiding something. No—we stay silent because the system threatens us if we don’t.
Judges routinely slap gag orders on parents. Survivors of abuse are told to shut up “for the sake of the children.” But whose sake are we really protecting? Certainly not the ones living in fear. (Lundy Bancroft – Family Court Abuse)
We’re told to stay calm, stay civil, stay silent—while our lives are torn apart behind closed doors.
So when you ask why we won’t speak, understand this:
You’re not asking for truth—you’re asking us to light the match and burn ourselves alive just to prove there’s smoke.
This is not silence.
This is survival.
We’re not quiet because we’re guilty.
We’re quiet because family court makes truth punishable.
Until that changes, don’t confuse our silence for consent.
It’s fear. It’s trauma. It’s a system built to break us and keep us quiet.
thegirlspeaks.uk 